Welcome to Bailey’s Magical Lifestyle Blog~~
If you are just now joining us, last month I went through a 30 Day Challenge. I spent each day documenting my experiences on Tinder, (Read Here) testing different opening lines, working on follow ups, striving to become a Tinder Master.
I have put together my Top 8 Experiences that I feel captures the heart of this experiment.
Here is my story:
I have created my Tinder portfolio. Decked out with a gloomy photo that makes me look sad and creepy as hell, I started my journey in this modern bar scene nightmare. I left my bio short and sweet, “Call me Ishmael” (Why you ask? Whale, because of the puns, baby.) During this time I was working as a Sales Representative at a Wine and Spirits distributing company, it was an awesome gig that kept me busy and entertained; I drove around selling alcohol. Could I complain?
After a few minutes of swiping, (Okay, maybe it was an hour or two.) I got my first match.
Chloe. Already my heart skips at the sound of her name! Could this be love? You can tell this is a woman of class, of such elegance that the approach must be wonderful. We had only one mutual friend in common but our friend was a woman that I had been on several dates with so I knew a lot about her. Our Mutual Friend came from a very wealthy family and only hung out with super upper class citizens, so I could take a chance on Chloe having a wealthy family. By the body language in her Tinder Profile I could also assume that she had wit and sass beyond measure. This was my opening line:
I chose this opening in hopes that being intellectual and witty will get me a response. Now the waiting game!
I chose to include day one to show how it all began, and to show you just how awful my Tinder game was. (Come on man, it wasn’t that awful.) This opening ended up being a disappointment. It was a bit of an over kill on the trying to be witty scale. Trying it out on a few women I ended up scraping it.
Total silence from Hannah. Doing some research on Tinder profile photos, the best way to increase your Match capabilities is to follow these steps:
1. Look into the camera. It is best if you are looking up to the camera and a little to the right.
2. Smile, but don’t show any teeth. (Umm, okay?)
3. I felt like this would go without saying, make sure it is just you in the photo. No woman wants to play where’s Waldo while looking at you and all your bros.
1. Don’t look directly at the camera. (I thought that was a little weird)
2. Smile while showing your teeth.
3. Be alone. Finally, something that is not just the opposite of what they tell men to do.
Speaking from my experience with Tinder. Women, please stop using Snapchat filters. You are all beautiful and hiding behind dog ears will only cause me to swipe left. Wanting to test the ideas they laid out I updated my photo.
Now let’s see if it increases my Matches!
This was a major breakthrough! Easily tripled my Matches.
Okay, first off can’t we make the “super like” a little harder to swipe? I swear to God, if I accidentally “super like” one more person I will lose my shit.
The photo worked well. Noticed a major boost in matches. I have been doing mass introductions with the “Hey! So fill me in, what are your dreams and aspirations?” opening, so far 100% success rate. Still testing different approaches on finalizing a meet up. Let’s examine the encounter below.
Jessie is a beautiful young lady. She has such stunning eyes with a touch of daring splashed into her gaze. Our conversation went as followed:
Channeling my inner Gaston I went with a compliment right out of the gate. I received no acknowledgement for my effort. She responded though so I buckled. I count this as a failure on my behalf. A much better response would have been, “You don’t think you relate to the modeling career?” keeping the focus on my flirting but giving her an option to talk about herself would have been a much better tactic then retreating into small talk. Gaston would have been disappointed.
Today my “Hey! So fill me in, what are your dreams and aspirations?” opening took a hit. I sent out mass introductions and I didn’t get a single response…
Fearing that maybe my line is a little stale I went back to the drawing board. Due to the success at first, I wanted to look at the pros and cons of what I was working with.
Opening in question: “Hey! So fill me in, what are your dreams and aspirations?”
Threat level is low. You can use this line and never come off as a creep.
Intellectual and relaxed. Shows that you can have an adult conversation while not coming off as condescending.
An instant conversation starter. Asking someone what their dreams and aspirations are is a great way to get them talking while being polite. It being an open-ended question is also a plus.
Simple and straightforward.
Not very exciting. With the insane amount of bros on Tinder shouting out the first thing that comes to their mind, your more “adult” opening can get lost in the shuffle.
Takes some thought to answer. You would be surprised at how much a “Damn girl u b lookn fine” will work, a simple “Hey thx” is a lot easier to type out compared to “Looking to get my astrophysics degree at the University of California in Santa Cruz.”
Doesn’t compliment your match. Whether you mention something from their photo or talk about something in their bio, people like to be complimented.
Simple and straightforward. (Yes, it made both lists)
Rating 3.5 out of 5
All in all I would say it is a good opening. Can break the ice if you have no other options or just not sure what to say.
On our quest for a 100% success rate we are far from over.
Focusing on keeping the pros while getting rid of the cons, I put my mind at work.
The Changing of the Opening Line, it was the end of an era.
As if out of a glorious dream, my line came to me. Doing a lot of research on women’s psychology I have found studies stating that women are 40% more likely to respond to a question if it is about food. I shit you not.
Using that knowledge I have came up with the following:
If you put all my accomplishments in a list and ordered them from worst to greatest I would put this opening line on top of the list. Simple, elegant, funny, and witty, this opening has it all. Now let’s take a look at Amber.
Pretty eyes and a beautiful smile. I went with the second photo because someone hasn’t read Bailey’s Magical Lifestyle Blog *shame* and used a group photo for her first picture, as if trying to hid her natural beauty. Like I keep saying, all of you women are beautiful! Own that shit, girl!
The new opening is off to a tremendous start! I feel like I have struck gold. I chose to talk about Amber because of the difficulty in getting a conversation started with her. Just read the following below.
She gives me nothing! One word responses, no sign of interest, but due to the amazingness of our opening we can turn this around. Check it.
See what I did there? Turned our opening into a joke and got her talking. Now we have earned her trust and the power to take the conversation anywhere we want. (Also did some harmless flirting and kept the conversation jovial.) The versatility of this opening is what makes it so amazing.
Love this opening!
Reading more about different tactics to use on Tinder I found a new skill to test. The theory is that if you get no response from you first opener, you can send a second message. This is known as the Follow Up Technique.
Not getting a response from Lily, I thought it would be the perfect chance to begin our practice.
Yet one more skill for us to learn before we become a Master of Tinder.
We’re back in business, baby! Few new matches and a response from Lily. Check it:
I love that she responded with humor.
The Follow Up Technique was an handy discovery. It helped me out of a few tricky situations.
I almost don’t believe it, folks! After years of constant study and perseverance we have found the chosen one.
Jordan. Playful, innocent, (In all the good ways. Don’t judge.) and impressionable (Again. Don’t judge.) Jordan has it all. But what makes her the chosen one? I am glad you asked.
Jordan chose pancakes! I didn’t think it was possible. I am so honored that I would be the one who discovered this unicorn among women. Knowing I had to act fast on this one I cut straight to the chase.
Some of you might have guessed where I plan to take this conversation, others will need to wait and see. One thing is for certain, I have big plans for this unicorn.
Nailed a closer with Jordan. Pretty proud of this one.
I know, I know, it’s a long shot and even longer winded. But I knew I needed to take a chance. About five minutes after I sent it I received this.
So, it started a little weird. (Who sends a first text with, “What are you up to?”?) Now that we crossed platforms I knew we couldn’t pick up where we left off on Tinder, so I started a little small talk.
And that was the end of my small talk. I’m sorry, I love you guys but I am not going to drive an hour out of town to meet up with her. I did tell her if she is ever in Nashville to shoot me a text, and she agreed.
This was one of my Matches that I felt I had total control of. Compared to Day 1 you can see how much my skill has improved.
Well folks, it is Day 30.
Total Matches: 101
I included Day 30 to show how many Matches I went through. If this whole experiment taught me anything it would be that no matter how much thought and practice you put into your opening line, skill, and charisma, you won’t have 100% success rate. Everyone of these beautiful women have their own personality and interests, finding out how to start a conversation with them will take more then any “cookie cutter” opening line. Find what works best for you and have a long list of openings. Their is no telling when you will need them.